Tell me what you think.
"Ships on fire. The words echoed in Kyle Stentson’s ears many times. His heart sank. Breathless, he ran his fingers along the thin, foggy window. Fire. The flames bit at his hand, heat pulsing through his fingers as the fire continued licking the glass. Cold sweat dampened his hand. An aroma filled his nostrils; smoke. Heat surged through his veins, he took a heavy step toward his cabin door. For a heart-stopping moment, he could vision the disaster. Something has happened to the ship!
Screaming. Not like what a child would when not getting her way, but a high-pitched wail. Kyle jerked his head back to life. His senses swelled with fever, throwing his hand wildly at the doorknob, he yanked open the door. A fume of smoke beat at his face, his eyes felt like they would burn out of his skull. He walked unsteadily through the blackened air, holding his arm across his mouth and nose, coughing fitfully. The screaming continued, now a frantic bawl. A sweep of smoke poured over his face, filling his nostrils with a murky smell. He wiped soot from his eyes and listened. As he stumbled, the cry grew louder. When it had reached its limit, Kyle opened his eyes for a split second, long enough to see a door. He felt for the handle. Locked.
"Who’s there!" his voice was raspy as he banged his fist at the wood. The screaming continued, more desperate than ever. "Open the door!" He reared back and took a headlong lung at the door. In a split second his shoulder moved in front, crashing against the hard surface. A crack caught him off guard. Pain throbbed in his shoulder, he opened his eyes, but once again painful black soot stung his eyes. Startled, he grabbed his shoulder, wincing. The pain was unbearable, but as the screaming continued, he got up his nerve and took another painful lunge at the door. He could feel himself falling. His body struck the floor, millions of spiky chards of wood bit at his skin. The door was broken!
"Help me! Somebody help me please!" The voice came from the left corner of the dorm, about twenty feet away. He lifted his head, his brown hair dripping with sweat. Blood ran into his mouth from his nose.
"I’m coming." He lifted his body and stood. Where is she? A small body came to view, curled up next to another helpless child.
"My brother, something’s wrong with him!" The girl was only a few years younger than his daughter back in Michigan. Her face was streaked with tears. Her face scrunched, shielding her features. His — moved to the body sprawled across the floor. A brown headed boy, a year or two older than his sister, moaned; deeply clutching his stomach. A gurgle burst from the boys mouth as he vomited violently on the floor next to him.
The ship faltered, tilting one way sending furniture to the wall behind them. Kyle grabbed the weak boy and threw him over his injured shoulder, letting out a painful gasp, he shifted him to the other arm. While dodging a rolling chair, he helped the girl to her feet. They rush up the inclined floor toward the open doorway. Running along the hall, smoke and heat surrounded them. He just wanted to find a life boat. Something that would assure their survival. But he knew the chances of surviving were slim as the ship groaned, turning them on the floor.
"We’re gonna die!" cried the girl as Kyle dragged her up again. He pulled her up in his other arm, his biceps flexing with all his strength to carry the two.
"No we’re not darlin’. Just keep strong we can get through this. Where are you parents?" Kyle quickened his pacing into a light jog, balancing the children in both arms. All the years of working out and strenuous jogs paid off after all.
"I don’t know. My mommy said they were going out and for me to stay with Griffin because he was getting sea sick." Her voice bounced from the momentum of his jog. Sadness fought his emotions. The poor children were so young to lose their parents, he just couldn’t let them die too!"
the ‘–’ was one of my edits. sorry about that, hope it doesn’t confuse…