Just tell me what you think, thanks.
This was done with minimal editing

The seasoned solders stand along the base of Lorega’s wall, armed to the teeth with swords, spears, and shields, preparing for the worst. Archers lining up on the wall tops, watching the large, disfigured figures in the distance slowly approach. For many, this was not the first time they would be fighting for Lorega, but for all, it was the first time they were going up against giants. A soft rumble is felt underfoot by all the solders, causing beads of sweat to drip down there faces. Behind the wall, trebuchets are are cut loose, unleashing a hail of flaming boulders, lighting up the evening sky. They soar for quite some time, and then land among the giants, scattering their somewhat organized ranks. Suddenly the far end of the once golden fields go up in flames, enraging the monsters, sending them full speed towards large city. The men brace themselves, shields up, swords and spears facing out. A little further out, hiding among the tall grass, lay five-score of highly trained elite fighters, waiting for the signal to strike. Among them lay Ameraus, who was once an orphan, but as he grew into a man he became an exceptional fighter and was notice by Ribroe, general and commander of half of Lorega’s troops. He slowly worked his way up through the ranks, becoming the best fighter among the standard solders. One day he was offered to join Lorega’s elite, and that is how he came to be.
Only a several yards away, the rumble of the giants is louder than ever. Out of nowhere a hundred men rise and begin darting between the giants, swords held out slicing deep into their legs, splattering blood in all directions. The elite make their way through to the end, and begin hacking and jabbing into the monsters, eliminating several giants in a flash. The men at the base of the wall suddenly clash with the giants. Dozens of men are hurled several feet into the air, but the Loregians aren’t undeterred, they continue battling.

Far away, in a rotten, unnamed wood, a dark, limp figure in the shape of a young boy lay next to a stump. Suddenly this figure moves, and slowly awakes from a long slumber. The boy sits himself up on his elbow and begins to look around. The surrounding trees have been eaten by insects, the ground bare except for some dead grass patches, and a sickly sweet scent hangs in the air. Suddenly a snicker is heard somewhere in the distance, causing the boy to scramble to his feet.
“Who’s there? Show yourself!”
“Hello, and how are you on this lovely evening?”
The boy quickly turns around, and out of sheer surprise he falls back onto the soft earth. Several feet away a being sits upon a stump, wearing a large, hideous mask with small intricate designs carved into it.
The boy rises once more, addressing the stranger.
“Who are you? And what is this place?”

my 3 year old son sweats excessively, when he wakes from a nap his hair is almost dripping, when he plays wiht cars on the floor he gets beads of sweat on his little nose, has anyone ever heard of something like this?

I’m 17 year old, male and I go exercising every day and i eat healthily and i make sure i have my 5 fruits a day and veg a day

however, i sweat really badly. Even today when i was in front of my class to make a presentation, i start gettin nervous and then i found my head was wet, full of sweat and that beads of sweat was sliding down my face. I couldn’t help but be really embarrassed , which of course made me sweat even more.

Thank fully i have a great group of friends who took over for me and i managed to keep myself calmer and i felt cooler inside despite giving out hot air around me…

even after about 5 mins of rounders with a group of friends, my armpits sweat really badly and my shirt can clearly be see through and the back of my shirt was wet.

i tried not lettin it stop me, however i’d like to know if theres nything wrong with me and should i see a doctor and have surgery on my sweat glands (also would this be healthy?)

For my diet-

Everyday- go on the treadmill for 40-50 mins, run at least 8 kms.
Weight – 143-149 (everyday, once ive finished running and once i’ve finished eating in the day)
Height- 5ft 10/11

I need a little help with the beginning of the second chapter to my new project. I need to know if it is good or if there are any parts I can make better.
ALSO: I want to know my strong points and those of which could use a little training. I run on a fan based system meaning the more fans I get, the harder I will work to get them more chapters/sections per day. Right now, I am averaging a chapter a day.

Here is what I need help on:

Makenzie snapped her eyes open and glanced at the window. The scraping halted when she looked towards the window and began again when her eyes were away.

After looking at the window then away again several times, Makenzie threw her covers off and sauntered to the window.

When she leaned out of her window, there was nothing out of the ordinary. When Makenzie shut her window and went back to her bed, it began to feel hot and stuffy, the aftermath of a hot summer day. She walked back to the window and shoved it open.

A sudden breeze burst out of nowhere and hit the girl directly. It wasn’t hard enough to do anything but cool the sweat that had begun to form on Makenzie’s back and chest. The breeze make the beads of sweat on her forehead feel as if they weren’t there.

She stood at the open window for a few moments before heading back to bed. It was too hot for the blanket she had been using before so she used the thin multi colored cotton sheet as a shield from any mosquitoes that might make their way into her room.

This time as she drifted towards sleep, it was not scraping that awoke her; it was the soft sound of someone walking towards her.
All I want is for someone to read my writing and tell me if it is good or if it needs work. and FWI, this is the SECOND chapter for those out there who can’t read. If you want a link to the first chapter, here:

http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/Jordyn_Ruhter/312031/

Sorry if I am coming off a tad bit rude but some people in this world can’t read the two words SECOND CHAPTER. How many times do I have to say this in’t the first chapter, it is the SECOND and it is just a ROUGH DRAFT. All I wanted was a little advice on what parts of my writing are weak and what parts are good. Again, may I emphasize the words SECOND CHAPTER?

Another little side note, my toleration with rudeness is at its breaking point.

This is a ROUGH DRAFT of the !!!!SECOND CHAPTER!!!! not the first. A link to the first chapter is above.
The begining is setting the reader up for the person coming towards her.

I understand it would be better if I included a bit more but in order to reserve my rights as an author, i need to be careful. I mean , look at what happened to poor Steph. Meyer. She let out a few drafts of "Midnight Sun" to trusted people and now the whole book is in jeopardy.

Creole

O Woman, I look at your beauty
Your skin….. of ebony color
Moist with sweat, glittering much
Like silk, like velvet
Is to my masters touch.

I look at your body
The forms of your figure
So perfect, so fine….
Down to your hips
I see you all bare
I gaze and I mumble…..
I see you don’t mind
My ill restrained trembling
My wondrous stare.

I look at your face
Your fine curved lips
And murmur your name….
Like Mother-of-Pearl
Unreal seems the shine
That fathomless shimmer
In your eyes
In the light
Of the flickering flame.

To the music you dance
Small beads of sweat
pearl down your face
For – the rhythm so throbbing
Had quickened its pace
You turn in closes circles
My senses are captured….
Ever so flowing
Your body is swaying
Moving with uttermost grace.

You woman, beautiful woman
Proud as you are….
You still are eluding
So innocent, simple
The way you do smile
The ring of your giggles
Like music your name…..
You really don’t care
You do not feel shame.

But your expressions, gestures
I feel are conveying
Sweet secrets you
They tell without words
What cannot be told……
Your heart, ageless and free
It has touched my soul
I see – it is prone
I know it gave something
For not anymore
I feel so alone.

That night I was happy
One with the music
The Earth – your beautiful song
The fragrance of tropical flowers
The rhythmical stomping of feet
The heavy moist air
Vibrating to the drummers
All powerful beat.

From far off lands I came to you
A restless mind in youthful vigor
Woman of mysterious nature
That other part of mine……
To seek adventure, leave behind
The boredom, dead end routines
The fancy heaps of useless glitter!

One principle in pride pursued
The precious freedom I do treasure
Confronted by desire, pleasure….
I wonder how…. again is waning?
To share there is a price to pay –
And so is there for failing
Your woman’s inborn magic art
Again this time it has subdued
Has overcome my shield and guard.

For untold lifetimes I am learning….
That painful search before and after
When passions rise from glowing embers
Then light up bright and die-off burning
Thus leaving puffs of hazy smoke
The cloudy nature of this yearning
That sting of sweet intoxication
Which…. flashy burst of wisdom hint
In moments of rare revelation
Between those states of sweetened weakness
Are nothing but the bitter fruit
Of falsified indoctrination
Created life…… imagination.

I suffered, learned, enriched my soul
Received what I could find
I found you on the way my friend
On which there is no end in time
…. In search of peace of mind.

O woman – knowing and so sure
As long as we are different
In body, mind (and) what drapes the soul
Unless we both are one
Against your charm there is no cure!

Sigi